Fragment Friday

When does a bad joke become a Dad joke?

This is where it all began. 2313 days ago, I found an online group called Kill The Can and quit nicotine. As I was texting fellow quitters I met on the site, I started sending out a Dad joke every day. A few years later, I had text messages with over a thousand jokes… so I put them together in a book. What follows is the introduction I wrote for “Dad Tweets Me Right: 1001 Dad Jokes in 160 Characters or Less”.

On Dad Jokes

What makes a Dad joke?

There are a million jokes out there. Long ones, short ones... puns, shaggy dog stories, you name it. A thousand ways to make people laugh.

Yet, somehow, we all know what a Dad joke is. What is a Dad joke?

Let's start by defining what it is not.

It can’t be funny.

Well - not funny-funny. We’re not talking about jokes that make you laugh from genuine surprise and delight. Those are the kind of jokes that make you think, “I can’t wait to tell this to so-and-so! He’ll love it!”

Dad jokes are bad jokes. They are jokes that make you groan. They end in puns, or in creative misinterpretation. Even a non-sequitur that takes you by surprise.

In the end, though? They should be bad jokes the same way that “Hawk, The Slayer” is a bad movie. Which is to say, so bad that they wrap around, pass through cheesy, barrel on straight through awful and somehow manage to come out good... even if from a completely unexpected direction.

They shouldn't elicit a laugh, at least not a first. If you do laugh, it has the be at the awfulness of it all. If they’re particularly clever, they might make you chuckle just a bit. Eventually. Many of them have pun-like qualities that you will learn to appreciate.

Initially, though? They should bring forth a groan. Perhaps an eye roll. In extreme cases, a flat stare and a definitive "No." A really good Dad joke will make a teenage girl roll her eyes, smack you, and declare “I’m not talking to you,” all at the same time.

Which leads to the true essence of a Dad joke... embarrassment. If you’re a Dad, and you hear a certain type of joke, you don’t think of sharing it with someone because they’ll enjoy it.

You think of inflicting it on someone.

Like tickling, a Dad joke is something that is tremendous fun... for you.

As with any joke, a big part of a Dad joke is the delivery. Unlike other jokes, though, Dad jokes are usually one-liners. They're zingers, designed for a quick jab. The payoff is immediate. The subject matter can be anything, but you must get to the point quickly.

There’s a good reason for that. A well-formed (I won’t say “good”) Dad joke is much like that friend of yours. You know, the one who sometimes says downright stupid things. Sometimes, you’ll see them open their mouth, and you’ll cringe. You know that something stupid is going to come out. You may even be able to relate - word for word - exactly what that stupid thing will be.

It’s like watching a waiter carrying a tray full of china across the room and seeing them stumble. You know they are about to trip on a dead invisible turtle. There’s nothing you can do to stop the inevitable catastrophe that is coming.

That is a Dad Joke.

It needs to be quick, to prevent the target from telling you “No, stop!” (Or, even worse, stealing your thunder by spitting out the punchline before you do.)

Most importantly, the target of the Dad joke needs to know that it is coming. The anticipation of the awful horribleness of a Dad joke is as much a part of the joke as the joke itself.

Delivery, man! Delivery!

I would argue that the pure essence of a Dad joke is very much in the delivery. There's a setup - a question or comment that makes it obvious that a joke is coming. If you are honing your Dad joke skills, this is essential. I cannot emphasize how important it is to develop that introductory phrase or tone of voice.

"Hey." Say it, deadpan, the same way every time. Work to get the inflection just right. If you can do that, one word alone will let your target audience know that a joke is heading their way.

Follow it up with a statement or a question. If you're asking a question, keep in mind that it is ALWAYS rhetorical. You're not looking for an answer, unless it's something like, "Oh, no..." This isn’t a question and answer period. You're going to move straight on to the punchline.

You've got to pause for a second, though. Always pause for a second before you deliver the punchline.

Why? Well. That introductory phrase and the initial statement are the setup. You're telling your target (HA! Appropriate, isn't it?) that a joke is on the way. Once you've established that, their mind is going to move into Dad joke mode. They know that a statement will follow. That statement will give them a clue about the punchline. Tell enough jokes, and they'll start to get a feel for them. They might not know exactly what you're going to say, but they'll be able to guess.

That is what the pause is for.

It’s there to give them that brief moment of time. Just enough to kind of, sort of figure out what the punchline is. To let them realize how awful it's going to be. To let them understand that whatever it is you say next, it is something that will make them groan.

Once they realize what's coming... then it's a Dad joke.

How can you know if you’ve mastered the art of telling a Dad Joke? Look at your teenager and say, “Hey.” If they immediately stop what they’re doing and say, “Dad! No!” - then you’ve got it!

It’s like shooting fish in a barrel. Only more fun!

If your eyes are kind of glazing over at this point, don’t worry. Let me sum it all up for you...

Hey.

When does a bad joke become a Dad joke?

When it's apparent!

For those of you counting along at home, that’s joke #1001 for you, as advertised.

Thank you! I'm here ‘till Thursday. Try the veal.