Hearths & Hearts
My wife and I were talking this morning, and a few things I’ve encountered recently brought this idea to the forefront.
It's not 100%, but I think many men generally are more comfortable with taking care of the physical world. If we can move it manipulate it or build it, we do well. Even to the point where it can be the primary way we express our love. By doing, by solving problems, by making and providing for the ones we care for.
As Red Green used to quip, "If the women don't find you handsome, they should at least find you handy." Take a look at some of us, and you can understand why we might take this to heart…
Emotional things? Crises of the spirit? Again, not 100%... but generally, we're not so good with that. It's not where our strengths lie. So we end up looking for someone to take care of our hearts and emotions, to guard them and keep them and tend to them the way that we try to take care of home and hearth.
Again - is it 100% one way or the other? No. I think that's definitely the way things lean, though. We're meant to complement one another.
This is a little bit more than “love languages”. It’s about how we relate to one another at a very fundamental level. I’ve lost track of how many times I’ve seen men and women alike, online and off, look at a happy couple and ask, “How do I find someone like that?”
Ladies? Be the person he can trust with his heart. Let him share his frustrations, his worries, and his fears safely.
Men? Be the person she can be secure in, knowing you will do everything you can to put her and your family first.
These past five years or so in particular, I've become acutely aware of just how much I lean on and depend on Shari to help me navigate the fields of emotions and relationships. I am tremendously grateful that she's my friend, my wife, my love, and the one that I can trust to guard my heart.
Now I'm going to go get some more wood for the fire. Because that's how I say, "I love you".
