Over on the #TeamAndMore Facebook group, we do writing prompts every other week. This morning, Sarah Arnette tossed us a fund one: “humorous scifi; dogs exploring a new world”. A few seconds of cogitation led to what you’re about to read. Don’t blame me; this is all Sarah’s fault!
"I'm not saying I don't like my job, Tiza." As I spoke, I unstrapped myself from the lander. Outside, the thankfully breathable atmo was still steaming from the heat of our landing. "Working with uplifted canines is actually pretty cool. For the most part. I'm just saying there are times when it's... more difficult than others."
Tiza stretched. "You know what? Now that we're down, my part of the job is over. It's all up to you and your crew. Twenty-four hours to explore, then we're off again. How hard can that be?"
I rubbed my eyes. I could feel the anticipatory headache coming on me. "Tell you what. How about I cut you in on comms for a bit, so you can see what it's like?"
"Ha! Sure. How bad can it be?"
My only response was flipping the audio switch on my console over to the cabin speaker. An immediate cacophony of sound exploded into the room.
"BOSS! BOSS! ARE WE HERE?"
"QUIT NIPPING MY BUTT!"
"YOU'RE A BUTT!"
"IS IT FOOD TIME?"
"WHO SAID FOOD?"
The voices stopped. A chorus of high-pitched, keening wailing filled the cabin. When Tiza grimaced, raising her hands to her ears, I took pity and killed the volume.
"Dear sweet bippy." Tiza's eyes were wide. "Are they like that all the time?"
"These guys? Yeah. Pretty much." I sighed. "Like you said. Twenty-four hours. I can make it that long." I'd have to. I nodded at the exterior hatch controls just out of my reach. "Do me a favor and open the doors. It's time to release the chiweenies."
Lol!
See, they picked the wrong kinds of dogs to uplift!